Getting Fit for 2009

December is just one long month of consumption: Christmas party after Christmas party, beer after beer, mulled wine after mulled wine, forever helping yourself to the seemingly endless string of Christmas buffets and mince pies on offer. As you greedily pack endless chocolates and slabs of turkey into you wide gob, there’s a pang of guilt but you keep telling yourself not to worry, it’s Christmas after all, just enjoy yourself.

Mince pie – 200 calories
Glass of wine – 120 calories
Pint of lager – 227 calories
Mulled wine – 245 calories
Mixed nuts – 440 calories
Candy cane – 60 calories
A chocolate from a box – 50 calories
Ice cream – 145 calories
Roast turkey – 340 calories
Stuffing – 180 calories
Cranberry sauce – 190 calories
Gravy – 150 calories
Christmas pudding with brandy butter - 423 calories

This is all fine until Boxing Day morn when you can’t manage to roll your enormous figure out of bed, your consumption and gut-guilt giving you more of a hangover than any amount of brandy doused Christmas pudding ever could. You stare wearily at your topless self in the mirror. Somewhere behind that fleshy blancmange is your body staring back at you in anger.

No time to waste! Get out there. Fresh air. Join a gym. Join a club. Climb a tree. Take up a sport. 10 mile run every morning. 50 push ups a day. 100 sit ups before bed. No more booze. No more fags. Only eat fruit. Only drink carrot smoothies. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.

It’s an uphill struggle but it’s important that you bite off much, much more than you can chew. Only then will you realise how ridiculous trying to transform you entire being in the space of a few weeks is, no matter how determined and resolute you make yourself. By February you will realise that the best thing to do just focus on one thing at a time. And it’s different for everyone.

Some love the treadmill because it can instantly tell you precisely and scientifically just how much good you are doing to yourself. Others join a team to drown out the physical pain with sporting enjoyment. I recommend ditching your daily car/bus routine and try cycling to work; not only do you feel you’re doing yourself some good but there’s the priceless kick of self satisfaction that you’re saving the planet as much as your waistline.

With this gentle lifestyle change, you can whip yourself into shape just in time for the 2009 work Christmas party.

Matt Whittle

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One Response to “Getting Fit for 2009”

  1. John Says:

    Good god I have enough food to last me till March yet!! xx

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